Nominated by Megan McFarlane
Originally reviewed on January 10th, 2016
His score: 3.5/6
My score: where's my Eggs Royale
He ate: the veggie breakfast and a pot of tea included in the price (£7.50)
I ate: the Bijou breakfast (full cooked breakfast) (£8.50) also with a pot of tea included in the price
Total cost: £16
Our pros: nice and warm compared to the bitterly cold rain outside; very good prices, especially with the tea included with breakfast; reasonable service; mostly quiet interior and a nice view of Leith Links from our window seat.
Our Cons: my original order was declined as they'd run out of Hollandaise sauce; service was not rude but a little brusque perhaps in the sense that there was little warmth coming from the main guy serving us, who may or may not have been the owner; the food was a little greasy and stodgy, sitting in our stomachs for hours afterwards, and there was nothing even slightly that stood out about this place or seemed particularly bistro-like.
Our experience: It was a bitterly cold day and the streets were flooded with puddles but we still dutifully dragged ourselves out of my cosy, sheltered room in order to bring you all the first breakfast review of the year.
Perhaps the ‘bistro’ part was in relation to other meals you could order from the menu for lunch or dinner, as the breakfast menu was extremely regular and if anything, was limited in comparison to other places we’d been to.
We wandered in the front door, scouring the small café for a free two seater table but found all of them to be occupied or reserved, however a very tall bald man quickly stood up from his seat by the window and gestured us into it.
He wasn't just a conscientious customer offering us his table but presumably the owner who had either been trying to entice customers in by sitting in the window pretending to be an enthusiastic customer or just having a little rest until we had arrived.
We happily sat down and Gary quickly began stroking the nearby radiator to regain some feeling in his fingers as even the short journey crossing Leith Links had quickly made us shivery and numb.
We had grudgingly pulled ourselves up and off the 16 as it got to the bottom of Leith Walk and crossed the street towards Leith Links, only briefly interrupted by a charming man who cut in front of us and noisily gobbed so ferociously on the road that I wouldn’t have been able to keep my breakfast down had I already eaten it.
We were handed our menus at the 'bistro' and had a quick scan to see what was on offer, but it transpired that it was your typical breakfast menu with a veggie or meat full cooked breakfast, breakfast rolls, a few egg-related things or variations of Eggs Benedict. Nothing standing out and the options pretty limited.
I decided instead to get the Bijou Breakfast (typical full cooked breakfast) while Gary got the veggie breakfast.
Honestly, I understand that places run out of ingredients but when they’ve only been open from 10am (three hours at this point) and they’re already run out of something which is a key ingredient in three of their breakfast options, which they will still be serving for another hour and a half, I just find it hard to believe there wasn’t some kind of workaround where they could’ve substituted the sauce or maybe made it without Hollandaise and discounted the meal at the end.
Also, when he told me they were out of Hollandaise, he just kind of looked at me like “so, pick something else then” without saying anything. I don’t think there was even a vague apology or anything so I was put off by that.
When the food came out, Gary and I peered down at our plates and noted there was probably a teaspoon worth of beans on each of our plates if we were lucky. There was plenty food there on the plate granted, but the tiny portion of beans almost seemed insulting as I could've counted them all on two hands.
In terms of the actual breakfasts, the fried eggs were a bit squished up and the yolks weren't runny; the black pudding was more on the fatty/greasy side than ones we’ve had in the past, and even the potato scones felt a little fatty as they’d fried them in oil too. I wish I had something more exciting to say about this place. I enjoyed sitting in the window and looking at the rain falling heavily outside (until I realised we would have to go out in it again soon, and my God, did we get absolutely drenched on the way to Ocean Terminal) while Gary and I discussed Ted Talks, a friend’s recent addition to the family (congratulation Willie and Lisa!) and possible things to do in London when we travel there in a week.
It was cosy by the radiator but the cramped nature of the café and the layout felt like we were almost sat by the kitchen with all the staff there while we were chatting to each other.
Every now and again laughter would erupt from the kitchen as we heard staff members impersonating Jar-Jar Binks and we even heard a Chewie wail at one point so, suffice to say, the experience didn’t feel very personal.
Also, I always feel self-conscious enough photographing our food and each other during our breakfasts in case someone points, laughing at us for being those sad people who can’t eat a meal without Instragramming it first, so the close proximity to the staff just made me feel even more aware of how silly I’d look photographing everything (hence why Gary's image is absent from this review - he'd just snuck a picture of me when I was buttering my toast).
The trouble is that I expected something a little more unique about this place but ultimately it fell flat. It wasn’t a bad place by any stretch of the imagination but I wouldn’t hurry to go back. Everything felt average; the food, the service, the décor and the breakfast options. The only big plus was the prices. We managed to get two large cups of tea each included within the price of our breakfasts so ultimately, £16 for what we got is a pretty damn good deal compared to past breakfasts where we’ve been charged closer to £30 for the same type of meal.
Maybe we’ve been spoiled with more elaborate breakfasts/cafes in the past but nothing stuck out about this place that would make us particularly recommend or mention it to anyone. Also, we’ve been sat still feeling breakfast in our stomachs six hours later so that’s definitely leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
What’s next: Marie Délices in South Morningside, nominated by Kerr (who has been waiting, no exaggeration, about 6 months for this one).
