Breakfast Nomination #18, the Caffeine Drip in the West End

Breakfast Nomination #18, the Caffeine Drip in the West End

Nominated by Erin Whyte 

Originally reviewed on October 9th, 2016

With our 7th guest reviewer - Emily Hair 

"What's pyjama party? Is that some bar down Leith?" 

Gary's score: 3/6 (would've been 4 if not for his actual meal) 
My score: tasty food but did the menu have to be so damn complicated? 
Emily's score: described by the colour "brown", she wishes it were "more green" but the "omelettes were delicious" 

Gary ate: (boldly) the vegan breakfast with toast, chickpea scramble (pureed chickpea) and ketchup (£5.50), fried banana (£1.60), vegan haggis (£2.50) and fried mushrooms (£1.60) with a (giant) Milo hot chocolate (£3) 
I ate: the non-vegan breakfast with toast, poached eggs and ketchup (£5.50), bacon (£1.60), vegan haggis (it just comes vegan) (£2.50), fried mushrooms (£1.60) and an English Breakfast tea (£2.60) 
Emily ate: a halloumi, mushroom and spinach omelette with toast and Mrs Balls sauce (a kind of chutney) (£8.50) with a Durbanville smoothie (£4.50) which was vegan as it was made with just fruit and apple juice 
Total cost: £41 altogether or £28 for just me and Gary 

Our pros: gluten free, vegan and veggie options but still meat options too; customisable breakfasts; friendly staff; a new experience for us food-wise; South African snacks sold here such as Biltong; takeaway options offered; tasty bacon, omelette, poached eggs and smoothie, and lots of cakes on display (such as their "crazy tiffins"). 
Our cons: milky hot chocolate; weak tasting tea; not much table space for 3 people; overly-complicated menu (just look at my attempts to list prices for our breakfasts to get a hint as to what I mean); vegan breakfast not filling but still expensive; customisable breakfast adds up to be quite expensive even if you don't order components to effectively make up a standard full cooked breakfast, and ordering at the counter for sit in or takeaway caused a bit of congestion at the café entrance. 

Our experience:  I have to begin this blog review by saying that this has been our most popular review to date! It's quite exciting to try something new and just from posting a little on Facebook, Twitter and mostly Instagram - a lot of intrigue has been sparked on the basis that we were reviewing a place that had quite a significant offering of vegan food on the menu. 

We received the most amount of feedback via Instagram, garnering the greatest amount of likes and comments on our review photos than we'd ever had, as well as getting a fair bit of interest on Facebook by simply mentioning the place we were going to to be reviewing next - often these posts are shrugged off and maybe get one or two likes (if we're lucky) but this time we had people commenting telling us how interested they were already in this upcoming review.
Anyway, here is our experience.

We dragged ourselves out of bed at 8:30 this morning (somewhat grumpily) to ensure we had time this afternoon for my birthday surprise at 1pm (which was seeing a double bill at the Film House of Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles) and took an hour-long scenic walk across town to the Caffeine Drip in the West End where we met our 7th guest reviewer, Emily, at the front door to the café then walked downstairs to grab a seat. 

We were greeted upon arrival, given free will to choose our own seats then handed our menus promptly though after that you are to go to the tills to order. 
This caused a bit of a kerfuffle at the tills as the till is located directly at the bottom of the stairs and patrons ordering their takeaways end up almost banging into you as you yourself queue to order your food to sit-in, so this was a minor gripe. 
Table service or a different till location would have been more ideal here. 

What sticks out about this place initially, other than the South African theme and décor, is that for the first time in our breakfast reviewing history - we have visited a place that caters pretty inclusively for vegans. 

I was pretty excited to try this place out as it's always interesting to have a place to review that is not your run-of-the-mill café just serving up your typical breakfast options, and it gives the review a bit more traction and a different edge to it, so I'm grateful to Erin for nominating this place for us. 

This place does do fairly standard breakfasts but there's a much wider variety of options for them. 
I'd say the key thing this place focuses on is customisation - you can order a full cooked breakfast but you're in charge of what bread you get (gluten free options available), what meat (if applicable), what kind of vegan-friendly egg/meat/dairy substitutes you want, what add-ons and even what kind of sauce you want to get (Mrs Balls, anyone?). 

the famous Mrs Balls sauce!

The customisation angle is great but it was also a hindrance when it's pretty much the only possible way to order as when we were first handed our menus we were hit by a mess of options, prices and lists of food components everywhere. 

If you're looking to order a quick set breakfast then you won't have much luck here. Yes, there were breakfast rolls and French toast on offer but the bulk of the breakfasts came with at least 3 mandatory customisations you'd have to specify when ordering. 
This is good for people who want control over what exactly they're going to eat for breakfast but is a bit of a pain in the arse if you just want to sit down and order a breakfast real quick. 

We were sat in the corner dubbed "the bean room" with jute sacks adorning the walls with dubious looking Buddhist symbols on the walls. 
We all agreed it wasn't our kind of kind of décor but the place was uniquely bright and vibrant with oranges and reds colouring the walls and floors of the main café which was an interesting change. 

the Bean Room

Our food came out pretty quick despite the fact everything is specified to be "made to order", so that was nice that the food managed to be fresh *and* quick as other places (yeah, I'm going there again guys) such as BRUNO'S 7-7 DINER, THE WORST FOOD PLACE IN SCOTLAND used their "made to order" practise as a (pitiful) excuse for why they took 40 minutes to cook your food when the place was 3/4 empty. 
One day I may stop bitching about that awful diner, but today, today is not that day. 

Emily was a big fan of her haloumi omelette (and as it turns out, so was Instagram as its picture garnered about 30 likes in 5 minutes - a record for our_breakfast_challenge account) and her smoothie. 

 I quite enjoyed my food as the bacon was well cooked and my poached eggs were suitably runny. The vegan haggis was interesting (I'm not sure if there's any difference between this and standard veggie haggis as even a google search didn't offer up any explanations to what it was), it tasted nice though a little too nutty for me but my mushrooms were cooked perfectly. 

 My tea was a bit too weak but I'm starting to get used to that in cafés as they always seem to have really rubbish teabags for their English Breakfast teas. However, it was not worth over £2 and the takeaway price for the tea is less than half that for some reason. 

some more table jenga!

Gary wasn't the biggest fan of his breakfast, but I guess that's what happens when you panic and forget what you really wanted to order when you make it to the tills and instead order a total vegan breakfast with fried bananas in it! 
His scrambled chickpeas were beyond "scrambled" and instead had the consistency, and some may argue flavour, of baby food and the whole breakfast wasn't substantial enough as he practically keeled over (slight exaggeration) when I dragged him and Emily for a walk round Dean Village after breakfast. 
I spent part of my breakfast sneaking Gary a bit of bacon here and a bit of egg there for nourishment, hoping the staff wouldn't walk past and scream "traitor" at him for tainting his all-vegan breakfast with an assortment of animal products. 

I would say Emily enjoyed this place the most and Gary enjoyed it the least but we were keen to return for other meals and I really loved going to quite a different place for once - even going to McDonald's back in the day was a bit more of an exciting experience, if depressing, as a fair few of the cafés in this city get a bit samey after a while so I'm really pleased to have reviewed this place and I think already (based on Facebook comments and Instagram likes) this challenge has already sparked an attraction from people specifically due to the vegan/vegetarian aspects of the challenge. 

The whole experience today was fresh, fun and I enjoyed the vibe of today's challenge - even though we had to get up so early on a Sunday and everyone who knows me knows that this is a really fucking hard thing for me to do.
I really enjoyed the chat and the experience of trying somewhere totally new and different for a change. 

I'll tie up this review on a somewhat humorous (to us anyway) note by saying that after a quick jaunt along the Water of Leith we graciously walked Emily home (mostly to ensure we didn't go up any other steep slopes and cause Gary to pass out from lack of energy from the morning's breakfast) and she proceeded to fail to open her own front door for a good 5 minutes (leading us to worry she was in fact pretending to live in this flat in order to get away from us quicker) and wound up buzzing to get let into the stair as her attempts with every single key on her keychain failed to gain her access to the building she (allegedly, now it seems) has inhabited for a number of years. 
Of course, Gary and I being the awful people we are we stood and stared at her for the full 5 minutes to ensure maximum awkwardness for poor Emily as she tried to escape us post-breakfast and we refused to leave until she was safely inside whatever random stairway she had just broken into. 

What's next: Odds and Ends Coffee Shop in Polwarth, nominated by Claire Wheelan, the former nominator of the Tower Restaurant in the National Museum

Breakfast Nomination #17, Hemma in Holyrood

Breakfast Nomination #17, Hemma in Holyrood 

Nominated by Russell Simspon - who was eager for us to give Hemma a second chance 

Originally reviewed September 18th 2016

Gary's score: 4/6 
My score: nowhere near as bad as I expected 

Gary ate: the Hemma breakfast (cooked breakfast) (£8.50), a tea (£1.60), an orange juice (£2.60!!!) and a small chocolate cake (£1) 
I ate: French toast with salmon and dill (£7.50), a tea (£1.60) and also a small chocolate cake (£1) 
Total cost: £23.80 

Our pros: good vibe in the café; very bright and spacious inside; not *too* expensive; pleasant service; food delivered quickly; nice big cups of tea and sweet little chocolate cakes offered with our drinks. 
Our cons: staff a little nervous and sometimes overbearing; slightly burnt French toast; food not very flavoursome; no sauce for cooked breakfast; staff hard to spot as they're all in plain clothes, and not very many breakfast choices on offer. 

Our experience: I have to start off this review by saying that we actually originally tried to go to Hemma a year ago. That's right, we tried but were unsuccessful!
Long before this place was recommended to us, Gary and I went through a stint of not doing our breakfast nominations and just trying places for breakfast to just... you know, eat, for sustenance rather than to review for Facebook. And every place we went to, we had a bad time. 

Around this time was when we went to the God awful Bruno's 7-7 diner and were insulted by the manageress - and I will mention the awfulness of that place as many times as I can in my reviews because it should be avoided! DO NOT GO! 
Anyway, so one day we were walking around Holyrood looking for a place to eat and we stumbled across Hemma, but we didn't even get as far as eating here before we had to leave and go somewhere else.  

We stood hovering around the front with no one paying us any attention and we weren't sure if we were to seat ourselves or wait but I think after a few minutes we seated ourselves anyway but were then ignored for another 10 minutes or so. Gary got fed up and went up to order at the counter but a waitress walked past and told him he could have a seat again and she'd come over and take his order. 

Gary sits down again, another 5 minutes or so pass and then she comes over to take our order - we mention the food we'd like to order and she says "Ah, ok. Well it's going to be a 40 minute wait for food so....". 
We glanced round Hemma, maybe a quarter of the tables actually full but still the place is near-empty, and we think "fuck this" and we leave. 

So, after that experience of waiting 20-odd minutes just to have someone attempt to take our order only to tell us it'd be another 40 minutes to get some food, we weren't keen to return. 

However, Russell (the nominator of this challenge) visited Hemma at a later date and tweeted about it himself, we had a little conversation about it via Twitter and it wound up on our nominations so Gary and I had to return - I simply cannot back down from a challenge, plus it's always good to give places a second change. Except Bruno's 7-7, they can fuck right off. 

Anyway, we went in with low expectations and with the experience of last year still fresh in our mind but they were a lot more on the ball today, if a bit nervous or unsure at points. They now have a sign with "please wait here to be seated on it" so that cleared up that issue. 
We got bright, attentive and friendly service upon arrival, got to pick our own table (from the non-reserved ones) and were given menus right away. 
Our orders got taken for our drinks and food within about 5 minutes of sitting down and our food was delivered maybe ten minutes after that. 

Everyone that served us was friendly though one of the waitresses seemed a bit nervous, tripping over her words and repeating our orders back to herself as if she was worried she might forget them, but everything came as we ordered it, and aside from being congratulated on finishing our arguably not very big portions of food -"Well done!!", and being asked how were, how we'd spent our morning, what we were up to next etc - the service wasn't too over the top, which was nice. 

Neither of us were too impressed with our breakfasts in terms of flavour and my French toast was a little singed round the edges, but the food wasn't the worst we'd had. 

I thought considering we'd have two breakfasts, three drinks and two cakes that £23 didn't seem a lot to pay at the end but I don't feel that £2.60 for orange juice is right, neither is £1 for a mouthful of cake or £7.50 for a small bit of French toast. 
However, we have ordered two breakfasts and two drinks before and wound up paying £30 elsewhere so it didn't seem too bad overall - just individual things seemed more expensive than they should've been.  

Hemma is part of a chain of Scandinavian bars/cafés/restaurants (they seem to be all three at different parts of the day) and we actually have another nomination from the chain it belongs to coming up in future, Akva at the start of the canal, so we shall see how that one compares to this (hopefully it's not the exact same). 

The place could do with more breakfast options but it's such a nice, spacious place and we had the choice of sitting on big plush sofas or at a large table (finally we had enough space to eat!) so I reckon this one would be good enough to be recommended for people to try if they were in the area but it wasn't anything spectacular. 

What's next: the Caffeine Drip in the West End, nominated by Erin Whyte

Breakfast Nomination #16, Montpeliers in Brunstfield

Breakfast Nomination #16, Montpeliers in Brunstfield 

Nominated by Mr Mark Strevens - his second nomination (the first being the Ship On The Shore in Leith) 

Originally reviewed on July 31st, 2016

With our sixth guest reviewer, the one and only Kirsty McVean 

"Those were the Holladaise..." 

Gary's score: 4.7/6 
My score: I was robbed of my free tea! 
Kirsty's score: 7.3 Snotlings /10 (this week's review is brought to you by Warhammer)  


Gary ate: the Full Monty (massive full cooked breakfast + grilled chicken and steak??) that came with toast and orange juice and was *supposed* to come with a tea or coffee, yet didn't (£11.95) and a hot chocolate (£3.10) 
I ate: the Monty (the same as Gary, minus the steak and chicken) and an English Breakfast tea (£2.75) but they didn't include my tea in the price even though it's supposed to come with the breakfast.
Kirsty ate: Eggs Royale (eggs Benedict with salmon) (£6.95), and orange juice (£2.40) and an Americano (£2.70) 
Total Cost: £39.45!!! or £27.40 for me and Gary, though it should've just been £24.65 with my tea included with my breakfast, grr. 

Our pros: nicely decorated restaurant with a good view from our window seats; friendly enough service; loads of breakfast options; good salmon for the eggs Royale and nice toast with the Monty breakfasts. 
Our Cons: really watery orange juice; not being offered the tea or coffee with our Monty breakfasts and me being charged my tea separately was pretty bad imo; really slow to get our bill; tables were far too small for three people to sit at with food; felt boxed in by the window and some of the food was pretty average - some even flavourless. 

Our experience: I was initially pretty excited about this place - it had a huge swathe of breakfast options and most importantly they did breakfast until 5pm (amazing) and it's a mere ten minute walk from my front door - time for a Sunday lie-in finally! 

Kirsty, carboot sale fanatic

Except no, that did not happen. 

In order to add to our breakfast challenge experience, Kirsty suggested that Gary and I join her at 10am to go to the car boot sale in the Omni Centre car park which takes place each Sunday. 
Safe to say I was not particularly awake for the first few hours of our day together and spent an inordinate amount of time yawning loudly and struggling to keep my eyes open whilst we wandered round endless piles of rusty old tools, awkward looking framed pet portraits and any other random belongings people had dug out that cupboard in their home they've not gone into for 47 years and decided to bring along to the sale. 

dozing off (probably)

Once we'd done the Kirsty circuit around the car boot sale, we grabbed a bus straight to Montpeliers - yes, food time! 

Montpeliers looked pretty busy, as it always does when I go past on my way to work, but we managed to get a seat after just a few minutes. 

We deliberated over the copious menu choices for a while before deciding what would be best to satisfy our hungers - Gary wondering why the hell a breakfast would come with a chicken and a steak but thought "fuck it!" and ordered it anyway. 

The wait staff that dealt with us seemed friendly enough but we didn't really get checked on at all and we were sat there for 10-15 minutes at the end waiting to ask if we could get the bill. 
However, this seems to happen annoyingly regularly these days when we eat out so I'm not sure if this is just normal procedure but I find it kind of off-putting feeling like you're being held hostage until you make the sufficient pointed eye contact with a nearby waiter in order to get the bloody bill finally. 

Kirsty really enjoyed her food and even had a few bits and pieces of mine and Gary's leftovers as we'd had more than enough food, especially with the rack of toast we got with our cooked breakfasts.
She said the salmon was good, the Hollandaise was acceptable and thought the pea shoots on her dish were a nice touch. 


Generally I liked my full cooked breakfast but I've got more for less in other places (*cough cough* CJ's Café, seriously it's so cheap) and Gary and I both agreed our poached eggs tasted far too watery with not much of a runny yoke going on and our sausages were too herby. 

mm, toasty toast

However, the haggis and black pudding were both cooked well and not greasy. I liked the added toast, but the OJ that came with our food tasted mostly of water and less of orange juice and I really can't let it slide that we didn't get our tea or coffee included with our breakfast - neither of us were offered either drink when we ordered food and I'd already ordered a tea at the start of the meal before we were asked our food orders, so I wound up getting charged for it anyway which I thought was pretty bloody cheeky as it specifically says on the menu that the Monty breakfasts come with "tea or coffee and a glass of orange juice", gah. 

Only one of these drinks was complimentary, humph

It's a lovely place but there was a *lot* of people bustling about and a lot of noise from the bar - mainly lots of smashing glass (not sure if it was intentional or not) and clinking so it was a bit too loud for me and we were really struggling to fit our plates on the table to eat. 

we're gonna need a bigger table

My plate was actually hanging off the table and I was worried I was going to end up with a lapful of food if I wasn't careful so I'd suggest only going there alone or with one other person to make sure you have adequate table space! 

I'd say this place is worth visiting on a nice day - especially as there's outdoor seating, and because there's probably about a dozen or more exciting breakfast options including pancakes, Mexican wraps and filled rolls as well as what the three of us ate today, so there's really something for everyone and lots to try. 

However, it's expensive (it's Brunstfield though, hardly surprising) and the food quality doesn't really measure up to those prices so I would probably pick a cheaper place over this one for the same or better quality of food. 

Nice but not great. 

Where's next: Hemma in Holyrood, nominated by Russell Simpson.

Breakfast Nomination #15, Peter's Yard in Stockbridge

Breakfast Nomination #15, Peter's Yard in Stockbridge

Nominated by the same former Christmas Temp who nominated Earthy last time

With our fifth guest reviewer and my dear friend, Tanya Rodger Benson

Originally reviewed on July 17th, 2016

"Tombola Bamba. What does that mean then?" *looks at Tanya expectantly* 

Gary's score: 3/6 
My score: what's with all the bread? 
Tanya's score: 10 points to Ravenclaw (yeah, we had breakfast with a Harry Potter nerd!) 

Gary ate: Frukostfralla (essentially a salami and cheese roll) (£2.50), focaccia (a doughy cheese and pepper thing) (£2.90) and a hot chocolate (£3.20), then later on he had one scoop of mango ice cream (£2) 
I ate: the breakfast basket (assortment of breads, cheeses and jam) (£5.40) and a royal breakfast tea (£2.60), then later I had chocolate orange ice cream (£2) 
Tanya ate: a breakfast basket as well (£5.40) and an Americano (£2.40), and later also had chocolate orange ice cream (£2) (what a copycat!) 
Total Cost: £30.40 altogether, or £20.60 for me and Gary 

Our pros: food reasonably priced and filling; food delivered quickly; tasty ice cream with interesting flavours on offer, and they had bottled tap water in the fridges with chilled glasses that you could keep helping yourself to. 
Our Cons: somewhat indifferent service; tea was really bitter after it had been in the pot for 10-15 minutes; menu said they served breakfast until 12 but we were told 11:30am when we called up so their information needs to be clearer; table was cluttered and not cleared until our food was delivered; passive aggressive notes around the place directing customers where to order and pay; lots of large tables sometimes with just one person sitting at them so if it was busier we probably would've had to park ourselves down next to strangers to eat breakfast; really poor breakfast choices (only 3) and none of them particularly breakfast-like, and all the different breads we each ate were very chewy. 

Our experience: Safe to say - we did not get off to a good start this morning at all. 

My alarm woke me from a deep sleep and I blearily picked up my phone, frantically jabbing at it in an unsuccessful attempt to shut it off. Eventually I found myself shouting at it to shut up and managed to put it on snooze. 

not convinced we were awake yet

I disentangled myself from the sheets and checked the bus tracker - uh-oh! The only bus we could get to get to Peter's Yard in time to meet Tanya was in twenty minutes, we better get our arses in gear and get dressed! 

Gary and I scuttled about, with me barely dragging a hairbrush through my hair (seriously, my hair is on end in my photo) before we headed out to the bus stop for the 23. "3 minutes" said the bus tracker, for what seemed like 20 minutes and when the bus finally trudged slowly up the road, a small British dance took place at the bus stop of 'were you here before me? no, you get on first, I insist!' while the old lady dance of 'get the fuck out my way you rude children, I'm a pensioner and I'm getting on this bus right now' was also taking place (please note, I was not the old lady in this scenario). 

Eventually everyone stopped circling round each other and got on the damn bus, which crawled up the road and picked up about 30 tourists along the way then broke down on George IV bridge with a flat tire. 

Gary and I piled off the bus, fearing if we waited to see if the bus could carry on driving or not, we would be exceptionally late. We raced towards the mound, practically knocking over more tourists in our wake until our 23 steamrolled past us again! We raced for it and caught it a few meters down the road, relieved that we would finally make it to Peter's Yard on time...until...until I got off the bus in Stockbridge and realised it was not where I thought it was. Someone had moved Peter's Yard! Or maybe I didn't know Stockbridge as well as I thought I did. 

After a quick check of google maps, a frantic power walk in the opposite direction with a quick text to Tanya explaining I'm an idiot who has no clue of where she's going, we finally found ourselves at Peter's Yard, a mere 15 minutes late after the clusterfuck of my poorly organised journey to our 25th ever breakfast. 

The staff have very little involvement in your experience there, I have to say. We sat ourselves at the only free table there was that didn't have people already sitting at one end of it and there were cups, plates and newspapers left from the previous occupier. 

You go up to order and pay and the only one-on-one part of the experience is when they deliver the food to your table, and that's when they decided to tidy away the previous occupier's mess though I accidentally found myself grabbing the waiter's hand as I attempted to help him clean the table but we both reached for the bottle of water at the same time. Just showing once again that I can successfully embarrass myself in almost any situation. When the waiter left again, he left behind the piles of newspapers - presumably as he either thought they were ours or thought we might want to read them. However, it resulted in a whole quarter of our table being used up by rubbish and so a breakfast tetris had to take place for us to ensure we had all our food and drink in front of us properly.

The food came quick but it's hardly surprising as none of it is hot and I was quite let down by the fact there were three breakfast choices - a basket of bread and cheese, granola and yoghurt or a savoury filled roll. 

I was perplexed by the fact they explicitly stop serving breakfast after midday when there was nothing remotely breakfasty about the breakfast options and considering none of it was cooked, surely you could order cold bread at any point of the day? 

I did like that the place had an open fridge with lots of bottled water and chilled glasses in it so you could just keep helping yourself to water, though this is mostly what I wound up drinking as my tea got too bitter to drink and all the loose leaves ended up falling into my cup. Tanya said that she thought maybe the little basket was supposed to get taken out the teapot after a few minutes of brewing but the staff never mentioned it so I kept it in and wound up with horrible acidic tasting tea that I just had to leave.

I would be reluctant to return just for breakfast as we didn't feel that anything they had on offer was something we'd rush back to eat for our first meal of the day. However, I would return for lunch or maybe even dinner as I felt the food was reasonably high quality with pretty good prices - though Gary's hot chocolate was extortionate in my opinion! 

What I can say positively about this place is that this was different from anything we'd had before - I don't really feel like it was much of a breakfast experience in particular but it was nice to eat something different in a nice place and have tasty ice cream after. And when the three of us left, we went for a nice long walk along the Water of Leith which is almost a tradition for myself and Gary at this point as we have eaten so many times in that area! Stockbridge definitely has the most varied and high quality cafés on offer compared to other areas we've eaten in.

the ice cream was fantastic

We spent most of the meal quizzing Tanya on Spanish words that transpired to not even be Spanish "You're just making noises at me!" and discussing Harry Potter in-depth, and it transpires that Tanya isn't the all-knowing Harry Potter geek she was back in the day (you've got some researching to do!) so the company and conversation for me was 10/10 but that didn't really have anything to do with the location!

Stockbridge is filled with endless cafés, especially those that do great breakfast options, so sure, if you want a different experience and you're a big bread and cheese fan then knock yourself out. It's cheap (except the drinks), it's tasty and it's a lovely, clean café but I wouldn't go in expecting particularly special service or a hot breakfast 'cos it just isn't on the cards. 

What's next: Montpelier's in Brunstfield, nominated by Strevs.

Breakfast Nomination #14, Earthy in Causewayside

Breakfast Nomination #14, Earthy in Causewayside 

Nominated by a former Christmas Temp 

With our fourth guest reviewer Amy DG 

Originally reviewed on June 19th 2016 

"Hi, I don't think we've actually met before!" Amy to Gary half an hour after we finished breakfast and walked halfway to Tollcross together.  

Gary's score: 3.5 happy monkeys/6 
My score: does anyone know what they're doing here? 
Amy's score: full marks for food, slightly below half marks for service but still a pass all round. 

Gary ate: Shakshuka (Moroccan baked eggs) (£8) with a Strawberry banana Happy Monkey (£1.50) - which transpired to be a children's smoothie, this is not apparent on the menu! (waiter: "It's not just for kids!") 
I ate: scrambled eggs on toasted sourdough with bacon (not what I ordered) (£7) and an English Breakfast tea (£2.50) 
Amy ate: scrambled eggs with smoked tofu and potato hash (£8) and an Earl Grey tea and almond milk (£2.50) 
Total Cost: £29.50 for all of us, or £19 for just me and Gary. 

Our pros: nice, chilled out area with good ambience and relaxed music in the background; organic food; reasonably friendly service; interesting menu selections; water brought to table without asking, and fairly nice food. 
Our Cons: worryingly slow service; confused wait staff forgetting parts of our orders/not fully clarifying orders; quite expensive for what we got, and food was nothing special - even for being organic. 

Our experience: This breakfast review comes over a month after our last because my cousin, Amy, is a hard lady to pin down! Fleeing to Arran then to Berlin for various weeks but with her overdraft reaching breaking point, she finally returned to Scotland to help us with our review. 

Earthy is tucked away just off of Ratcliffe Terrace (not far from one of my old flats) and is essentially a food market for buying organic produce but has a café to go along with it as well. 

Initially we were struck by the nice ambience of the place - there was soft lighting, rustic tables and chairs, and big windows with plenty light coming it. It felt peaceful and the music playing wasn't invasive at all. 

A waitress approached our table promptly and gave us menus whilst she wiped down our table and made polite small talk - things were starting off well! 
Gary, Amy and I perused our options and were relieved to see some normal seeming menu choices as I was pretty sure when I'd checked online it seemed like a lot of nuts and seeds and crazy, non-breakfasty (and perhaps somewhat hippy-ish) choices but we were pleasantly surprised to see things such as jam! Toast! Scrambled eggs! And so forth. 

Gary branched out, trying the Moroccan dish on the menu whilst Amy went for the vegetarian but still somewhat exotic choice of smoked tofu with scrambled eggs. I went for the scrambled eggs with bacon, sausage, mushroom and tomato for a whopping £10, though this is not what I wound up receiving. 

I'd say within a few minutes we had decided what we wanted but we sat for almost bang on 15 minutes before we managed to give the appropriately British 'polite but somewhat pointed' eye contact to a nearby waitress to come and take our order - I point blank refuse to be one of those "AHEM, EXCUSE ME *snaps fingers*" patrons I so often see in eateries, though this does mean waiting for sometimes excessive amounts of time with rumbling tummies and a passive aggressive agitation that leads you to stare longingly, yet ferociously at any waiting staff in the nearby vicinity. 

Once the waiter came he said "Sorry!" and began to take our orders. Amy asked for soy milk with her tea and the waiter told her they had almond milk and possibly goat milk so she said she'd take the almond milk instead - I thought this was interesting, not that I would drink any kind of ridiculous milk other than dairy but it was nice to see a variety of dairy-free options there for customers. 
Gary ordered his strawberry banana Happy Monkey (all the information the menu supplied) and the waiter responded with "I like them too! They're not just for kids haha" which then made us wonder what the hell Gary had just ordered, even speculating he was about to be delivered some kind of baby food with a little plastic spoon. 

Another 15 minutes passed and we finally got given our drinks, or rather Amy and I were given our teas with no almond milk in sight and Gary's drink was non-existent. The waiter had forgotten to bring me a saucer so we assumed he'd leave and come back with everything else but instead he just delivered the saucer and left. 

After another few minutes of pointed eye contact with the wait staff, Gary eventually went up and explained his predicament that we weren't given his Happy Monkey or the almond milk, so they brought it over and apologised, though still seemed a bit confused about the whole process of delivering us things we actually ordered (and considering the waiter wrote down our whole order and reiterated it back to us after, we didn't think there would be a problem). It was then we discovered that the drink Gary had ordered was a smoothie that literally had "FOR KIDS!" written on the box, oops, but he drank it nonetheless. 

not just for kids!

The staff seemed worryingly confused the whole time we were there, even ten minutes earlier another waitress had wandered round all the tables with two plates literally asking customers who they belonged to and then wound up almost accidentally ignoring the two customers shouting "er, I think those are ours!" from the other side of the café. 

After another ten minutes, our food was delivered to the table - Gary and Amy's food looking quite spectacular and elaborate and mine looking like.... like... why the hell was I getting charged £10 for this? 

We took our obligatory food photos and began to make a start on our food. After I'd worked my way through maybe a quarter of my portion, I suddenly realised I was missing mushrooms, and tomato, and sausage! This was daylight robbery, did they think they could rob me of THREE ingredients and then charge me £10 at the end of it?  

thrilled to bits

Gary noted my distress but also my reluctance to cause a fuss (so very, very British) so he waved a staff member over and I explained the issue so she got our waiter to return. He knelt down by our table, looking nervous and almost upset - as if I was about to throw my plate of expensive food in his face and demand he bring me what I actually ordered. 

As it transpired, after him nervously explaining what had happened and hurriedly trying to console me with the offer of remaking my food or giving me a free coffee, there were two toast, scrambled eggs and bacon options on the menu - one coming literally as I've just stated and the other with mushrooms, sausage etc and because I didn't specify all the other ingredients (due to me not noticing there was another option just with scrambled eggs, toast and bacon) nor did he clarify which option I definitely wanted, I ended up getting lumbered with the other option that was thankfully not £10 but still a rather expensive £7. I ended up consoling the waiter as he looked like he was bracing himself for a full-on tirade of abuse from me, and told him it was ok and I'd eat what I'd been given as it was simply a misunderstanding. 
We finished up our meals, Gary feeling his had become somewhat bland the longer he ate it and me still feeling a little robbed. Amy, however, really enjoyed her food and couldn't fault it at all. 

After wondering if it was worth waiting to see how long it would take to get them to bring us the bill, Gary went up and paid, and they deducted the cost of one of the teas as they forgot the almond milk (if they'd deducted an item for every mistake they made, we may have wound up with a free meal) and after looking around for the toilets briefly, which I couldn't locate, and making a few sly notes in my notebook, we up and left. 

Roughly £10 a head for a breakfast doesn't sound too much in the grand scheme of things, and it's not much more compared to other places we've eaten but ultimately it seemed like we were paying extra for the organic produce. 
Considering we've eaten at Water of Leith Café and Blue Bear Café, both serving organically sourced produce, and they both had much fairer seeming prices versus the portions we were served, I felt this place had no justifiable reason to charge as much as they did for what you got. 

The layout and feel of the café was great, the service was friendly but it seemed like no one really knew what they were doing and were so afraid to fuck up that they fucked up anyway.

I'd be reluctant to go back based on the waiting times alone - 40 minutes from sitting down to having our food delivered when they were, at most, 1/3 full is not really justified. 

Not the worst place we've been to but not a whole lot of reasons to rush back! At the very least, it was nice to spend time with my favourite little cousin and have her meet Gary again, even though she has little to no memory of meeting him last October at my 25th (that's alcohol for you, guys). 

What's next: Peter's Yard in Stockbridge, nominated by the same (nameless) Christmas Temp.